Wednesday, October 17, 2012

4 years later....

I debated putting anything on here.

I thought about it earlier this afternoon and decided that I made a promise to myself, to keep his memory alive. I found a journal, over the weekend, where I had written a few random posts, after he died. Whew, talk about bringing me to my knees.

Anyway, I wrote multiple times in the journal about always remembering him. You may think how in the world could you ever forget your brother?  People it fades. I do not want it to fade. I want to remember the details. It is hard. His smile was one in a million and would light up a room. I want to always picture it. I have to make an effort to remember it every day or I'm scared that I will forget it.

So, yes, I know the day that I got the worst news of my life. And, I know the exact date of his funeral because it was the day before Lydia's first birthday. Those dates are forever in my brain, but they really do not mean much to me. Every day, I miss him. Every day, I think of him. Every day, I wish he was still here. Every day, I must keep his memory alive.

So, today this post is for you, bro!

Four years later and I still cannot believe it......



  1. Oh sweet friend... my heart aches for you tonight. I absolutely cannot imagine. I am so proud of you for pushing through 'the hard stuff' to remember him and keep his memory alive for yourself and L & D... what a treasure a sibling is!!! And could you two be ANY cuter!?!?!? Hugs and prayers my friend! xoxo

  2. I just read this. I am so sorry! I can NOT imagine the pain of loosing a sibling. I pray you remember his smile along with all the wonderful memories that you shared.
    love you! lindsay