Thursday, May 17, 2012

Last Day!

Lydia's last day of 3P and Dantzler's last day at Little Lambs- May 18, 2012


 This should be it's own blog post, but I haven't been making the time lately. I came across this from an awesome D-Blog that I follow. and it is so, so true. I just had to post it, so I would always have it. 

We are the D Mothers

We are called D Moms. D Mamas. Even Type 3's.

Sometimes we get a bad rap.

~We're too "intense."

~We worry too much.

~We are overbearing.

~We over think.

~We over react.

~We over manage.

And I only have one thing to say about all of that...

You are probably right.

I want to tell you that if you are a parent, you can understand.

But that is not true.

I want to tell you that if you have diabetes yourself, you can understand.

But that is not true either...just as I will never fully understand your diabetic life,
you will never fully understand mine.

The only way you would understand what goes on in the swelly brain of a D Mama,
is if you were a D Mama yourself.

We are special. Chosen for our story, as you were chosen for yours.

We are fighters, and we will fight until our last breath to keep our children safe.

New technologies like fast acting insulin and insulin pumps provide keys for better management, but they also provide a clear and present danger at all times.

We have to be vigilant.

We look into the eyes of our children and we love them with a bright tenderness. We want more than anything for them to live a life free from restrictions, free from prejudice, free from complications, free from emergency rooms and hospitals.

We feel a responsibility well beyond any bounds of normalcy. We do not want to live a life of regrets. One day we will need to look into the eyes of our adult Type 1 Children and we want more than anything to say...
"I did my best."

The mothers of Type 1's spend every day racked with guilt. Every blood sugar number pierces our heart. We feel responsible for every high and every low.

An argument can be made that diabetes is responsible for every one of those numbers, but in our eyes...whether a reasonable notion or not, we feel they are a reflection of our efforts.

We may not always admit it to you, or to ourselves...but we take those numbers personally.

The A1C isn't called the mommy report card for nothing.

We do not sleep. That is a choice. We choose to keep a close eye on the numbers while the world takes a break. We don't take breaks. We know that waking up with a off number can domino to the rest of the day.

We know that pancreases sputter.

We know the soccer game from 5 hours earlier can affect the nighttime numbers.
(Yet we urge them to play.)

We know that Pizza can wreak havoc hours after consumption, and we know that Chinese food for dinner means a sleepless night for us.
(Yet we delight in serving them their favorites anyway.)

We know that diabetes never sleeps. That is why we don't either.

We know that a 200 can turn into a 52 in 30 minutes flat.

We know that on field trip days our children may spike with excitement, or bottom out from activity.

We know nothing is for sure.

So we check, and constantly ask our children how they are feeling...and we hover...watching every move...looking for changes in our children's faces...changes in their gait...tiny beads of sweat on the back of their necks...we know the signs of lows. We know our children better than anyone else.

We love hard.

We try hard.

We cry hard.

We hug hard.

We hope hard.

We stress hard.

We are hard on ourselves.

We are D mamas.

Don't judge us because we fret over the details. To us...Our Diabetic Life is all about the details.

We are 100% responsible for the well being of children we love more than anything on this blessed green earth.

No, we will not back off.

No, we will not calm down.

No, we will not stop making noise.

As mothers, we know that our children are special. Diabetes makes them stronger. It makes them resilient, responsible, amazing. It gives them a sense of humor. It makes them grow up too fast, and let's them spread their wings too slow.

We wish we could take away the pain.

We wish it were us.

We are warriors.

We are D Moms.

Hear. Us. Roar.



  1. that was awesome! i know it says i don't fully understand, but sometimes i play a scenario in my head as if it were my own child instead of me....and i know how hard it is on you and moms with young kids with diabetes. isn't funny how everyone is different? my mom didn't have to go through all you are b/c i was in college and 20 when i was diagnosed...but still there is a understanding among those who deal with it daily, because people who don't really have no idea...and one day b/c you are teaching her and being so diligent she will be able to be fine on her own when she grows up and you will be able to sleep again! ha...she may not though, b/c i still wake up numerous times during the week to ck in the middle of the night :) anyway, keep on keeping on! you are a great mom to 2 great little girls!
    happy summertime!!

  2. I am so teary are amazing, Kristee! AMAZING! Some nights when I wake in the middle of the night, you come to mind, and I realize you will be getting up to care for sweet Lydia, and I cannot fathom what you do. You are amazing. Amazing.

  3. The girls are so adorable. And that poem brought tears my eyes. Thanks for sharing it, you are one strong super momma.

  4. Thank you for sharing this. I am the mother to a 4 year old type 1 diabetic daughter and this made me cry. I don't often think of how hard it is, just do what has to be done, but to have the anxiety expressed for me - my emotions flowed. Bless you. Your daughter will be in my prayers.